Landslide
by MaryShelley1979
Summary: On a long car ride, my husband and I were discussing Ghost in the Shell. He said there is no plausible situation in which Batou and the Major would hook up. Oh really? Set near the end of Stand Alone Complex, 2nd Gig. M for bad language. Now complete!
1. Chapter 1

Togusa got home late, as usual. His daughter was already in bed, but he found his wife awake, rocking the baby. She smiled at him as he bent to kiss his sleeping son.

"I'll be right out." She whispered. "Dinner's in the fridge."

When she came out the plate was rotating in the microwave. Togusa leaned on the counter, his eyes closed.

"Long day." She kissed his cheek. It wasn't a question; they were all long days. "Sit down. I'll bring you dinner."

He obeyed. "Kids okay?"

"Little angels. Except when they're not."

He smiled. "Oh, hey. I have a question. Maybe you can give me insight. Women's intuition."

"Women's intuition? Sexist much?"

"It's relationship stuff, but if you don't want to know…"

She laughed. "Sure. Shoot."

"It's about work. My boss, she's usually pretty tough. A while back, something must have happened in her personal life. I don't know what it was, but she got pretty depressed about it. She just…lost interest. Really weird. Then, last week, she changed again. She turned really irritable, just…bitchy. And she's been avoiding my supervisor. You know, the big guy?"

"With the weird optical implants?"

"Yeah. They were always buddy-buddy before, they were in the army together before this job. They trusted each other, I guess. But now everything is messed up. She's bitchy to us, but she just ignores him. It's really uncomfortable when they're in a room together."

His wife thought a moment, chewing her lower lip. Finally she said, "They probably slept together."

Togusa choked. "No. No way. That would never happen."

"How do you know? I love you, but you can be really dense about stuff like that. It's not your fault. You're a man, after all."

"So enlighten me."

"Remember when you were on trial for shooting that horrible man?"

"No, I don't remember. Are you kidding?"

"I met your boss and your supervisor then. Only for a minute, and I was sort of distracted, but I got a definite vibe from them."

"Vibe?"

"They're both scary people, right? They tried to be nice, but they couldn't totally hide the scary-ness. But when they looked at each other…" She shrugged. "It's hard to explain. They softened. There was respect, yes, and something else too. Romantic tension, maybe. I sound like a chick lit novel."

"No, you're right. Everyone knows he's got a serious thing for her. But her…"

"But you said she was upset about something. People do crazy things when they're feeling vulnerable. Trust me, she's got something for him too. And maybe it just happened. Nothing screws up a work environment as badly as employees sleeping together."

Togusa raised an eyebrow. "How would you know?"

"I wasn't always a stay at home mom, you know. I had a job once. Oh, don't look at me like that. I didn't sleep with my co-workers."

"Good to know." Togusa carried his plate to the sink. "That's crazy, though. I never would have guessed."

His wife stood up. "If I'm right. Come on, you look beat. Let's go to bed."


	2. Chapter 2

He found her in the bar, drinking alone. The bartender shot him a resentful glance. Batou ignored him. The stool creaked in protest as he settled in beside her.

"You look like shit." He said by way of greeting.

Her shoulders bent a little more, curling around her glass like a dying leaf. "Go away, Batou."

"It's a free country. More or less. For now, anyway. I can still get sloshed anywhere I want."

The bartender was watching them warily. Batou turned away so the man only had a view of his broad back.

"It's almost last call."

"I don't see you packing up to leave. Major, what the hell is going on with you?"

She tilted her head back. She looked exhausted; shadows smeared under her eyes, lines etched in her forehead. He hadn't noticed before; she hadn't let him get near enough to see. She closed her eyes briefly, then opened them. But she didn't look at him. "What are you talking about?"

"You've been acting weird since the Dejima thing. You avoid anything like a conversation, you snap at every little thing…pardon my language, but for the last three weeks you've been acting like a royal bitch. Everyone notices it. Even Togusa said it, and that guy worships you. If he thinks you're being a bitch, then you're being a bitch."

She stared unseeing at the mirror above the bar. Batou sighed. "You look worn out."

"You think?" There was no edge of humor in her voice. Her tone was flat.  
"When did you last sleep?"

She raised a hand as if to rub her temple, but let it drop. "I don't know. Two weeks?"

Batou frowned. Even for a full-body cyborg, the recommended time to go without sleep was no more than four days. "Jesus, Major."

"Last call!" The bartender spoke to the few remaining patrons scattered around the bar, but he was looking at them. Batou couldn't blame him for wanting them gone; Section 9's members had brought enough trouble into his establishment. He rose.

"Come on, this poor guy just wants to head home."

She didn't reply, and for a moment he thought she was going to refuse to leave. After an interminable moment she got up. She was steady on her feet, but her eyes held the slightly glazed look of the very drunk. Batou reached for her arm but stopped before touching her.

They climbed the stairs to the street. Spring was creeping in slowly, but the nights were still cold. The few other people on the street were bundled up, anonymous behind scarves.

The Major tilted her head back. Whatever stars managed to escape the neon glow of the city were hidden behind clouds. "What do you want?"

"I want to walk you home, like a gentleman."

"I don't need your help."

"I don't know if you've noticed, but you're drunk."

"I can synth the alcohol out of my system in ten seconds."

"But I have a feeling," Batou dug the toe of his boot into the pavement. "You'd rather stay drunk."

She turned her back on him. "You can be such an asshole sometimes, Batou."

He followed. "I'll take that to mean, 'Yes, I'd love for you to walk me home.'"

She was silent as he fell into step beside her. Baotu jammed his hands into his pockets. He could have turned off his temperature sensor, but he kind of liked the chill clinging to his skin.

She, of course, was entirely underdressed, impervious to the weather. She walked with her head bowed, feet dragging; nothing like her usual confident gait. A needle of pain pierced between his ribs, seeing her this depressed.

They walked without speaking, until Batou felt suffocated by the silence.

"Look." He hesitated, then plunged ahead. "I don't know what was up with you and that Kuze guy, and I don't care." A lie, but how would she know? "But me and the guys, it wasn't our fault what happened to him. I didn't like the guy, sure. But I didn't want him dead."

"So?"

His fists clenched in his pockets. He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. She took a few more steps, halted, and spun to face him with the grace of a dancer.

"So stop treating me like I killed him!" Across the street a man stopped to watch them. It looked bad; a big, aggressive guy yelling at a woman half his size. He leashed his anger, lowered his voice. "I know you want to take it out on someone. But I don't deserve it. We don't deserve it."

"Did the guys elect you to tell me that?" Without waiting for an answer, she turned on her heel and walked away.

"No, I'm just worried about you!"

"Why?" Her voice was faint, weary.

"Can you possibly be that dense?" He muttered as he caught up to her. She gave no indication of having head. The new silence was even heavier than the last.

Abruptly she stopped. She looked up at him with slightly unfocused eyes. "I don't want to go home."

Batou frowned. He had to get her someplace she could crash. "Why not?"

"It's too empty." She tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear, an uncommonly feminine gesture.

He could understand that. He'd spent a long, tense night at her place a year before. It was  
big, and almost totally unfurnished, and lonely. "How about a friend's place?" Did she have any friends? He had no idea.

She shook her head mutely. Batou sighed. "All right. Come on."

"Where?"

"My place. It's a few blocks this way. You can sleep there." He ventured a hand on her elbow. She didn't protest as he steered her around the corner.


	3. Chapter 3

Togusa found the others in the conference room. Since Dejima, Aramaki had holed himself up in his office, shouting things into the phone, and Batou and the Major rarely showed up at all. But the rest had taken to lazing around the conference room for a couple hours a day, waiting for something to happen.

All four were there: Isahikawa and Saito on the couch, Paz sprawled over the armchair, and Borma on the floor, arms behind his head, artificial eyes fixed resolutely on the ceiling.

"You guys." Togusa announced from the doorway. "I figured out what's wrong."

"You realized you're gay and you've been living a lie all these years?" Saito deadpanned. Borma snickered.

Togusa closed the door behind him. "Do you spend all day thinking up smartass remarks?"

"It's not like I have anything else to do."

Togusa leaned against the desk, where the Major usually stood. "I figured out what's wrong with Batou and the Major."

Paz yawned. "They realized you're gay?"

"Aw, give the kid a break." Ishikawa drawled. "So what's wrong, genius?"

"They slept together."

Saito stared at him. "Of course they did."

Borma barked a laugh. "You just now got that?"

Togusa gaped. "You knew? Did Batou tell you?"

"No. It's just completely obvious is all." Paz took a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and lit one. "You don't get women, do you? How did you ever get married?"

Ishikawa rested his elbows on his knees. "Look, we all know Batou has a serious Jones for the Major, right? But they were just buddies. All of a sudden things get really weird and tense with them. There's two possible explanations: either they had a huge fight, like he borrowed her lipstick and didn't give it back or he stole her boyfriend or something. Or they hooked up. This ain't a girls' prep school, so it's gotta be explanation number two."

Togusa stared at his shoes. "Nobody tells me anything."

"Women can really fuck up your Christmas." Borma said gloomily.

"I can't decide if I should congratulate him for finally nailing her, or if I should give him my condolences." Saito said.

"You think she's as scary in bed as she is in person?" Paz mused.

"I think condolences are in order." Borma heaved his bulk into a sitting position. "It didn't go well, or they'd be making out in the dive room instead of being bitchy to each other."

"They'd be making out in Ishikawa's chair." Togusa shuddered at the mental image.

Paz smirked. "Hell, they probably did it in Ishikawa's chair."  
Ishikawa scowled. "All right, assholes. I've had enough of you all gossiping like a bunch of women. I'm going home."

"Me too." Togusa straightened up.

"Yeah, you have to put on a dress and play tea party with your kid." Borma rose.

"I'm going to get plastered, myself." Paz stretched.

Saito nodded. "Sounds like a plan."

Togusa saw his chance. "You're going drinking together?"

"Yeah, so?...oh, fuck you, Togusa."

"Hey, I may play tea party, but I don't go to bars with other dudes."

Borma laughed. "Yeah, watch out. That's probably what happened to the Major and Batou."

"You're all queer as far I'm concerned." Ishikawa growled. "Get your asses out. I have to lock up."

They filtered out and went their separate ways. When the parking garage elevator doors opened, Togusa was dismayed to see Batou filling the doorway. "Oh, hey."

"Hey. You seen the Major?" Even without eyes, he looked haggard. He stepped aside to allow Togusa out.

"I don't think she's here. We were all hanging around, but nothing's going on. Still."

"Thanks."

"OK. Um, hey-"

"Yeah?" Batou paused, hand hovering over the floor button.

Togusa swallowed. "Nothing. Never mind. See you around."

He glanced back once, but the elevator doors were closed.

"Man." Togusa muttered as he unlocked his car. "Women can really fuck up your Christmas."


	4. Chapter 4

It was dark when she woke, but that didn't matter; her eyes adjusted in the moment before she opened them. She was in a simply furnished bedroom: dresser, bed, bookcase, closet door. A picture on the wall, Chagall. The blankets lay in a heap at the foot of the bed, and she was on top of the sheets, plain white, tucked in army-neat. The mattress was bowed in the center. Batou liked to sleep right in the middle, she guessed.

She rose and crossed to the open door. It led to the main room- a tiny kitchen and living space. More bookcases, a recliner, a Hiroshige print of Mount Fuji. A sliding-glass door led to the balcony. The long, gauzy drapes moved slightly with the breeze. For an instant she considered walking out the front door, leaving him to discover she was gone in a couple hours.

No. She still didn't want to be alone.

He leaned over the railing, watching the lights of the city below. The air was cold. The clouds had moved, and a few stars were visible, but the moon remained hidden.

He didn't look up as she crossed the balcony. She spoke first. "I'm surprised that railing holds you."

He tapped it with his knuckle. "Reinforced. How you feeling?"

She shrugged. "How long did I sleep?"

"Three hours. It's almost five a.m."

She leaned on the rail, facing the building. "You have a lot of stuff."

"Yeah." Batou flashed a sheepish smile. "I'm sentimental."

They were silent a moment. Kusanagi reached down to adjust her watch band. Her fingers lingered on the chill metal.

"Hey," She said suddenly. "Do you want to know about my watch?"

He frowned. "Do you want to tell me?"

Did she? She closed her eyes, breathed, decided. "Yes."

"Okay. I've been tormenting myself with curiosity for years, you know. I lie awake every night."

"My parents gave it to me." How many people knew that? Two, as of now.

"Really?" Obviously he hadn't expected that.

"I was a little kid when they died in a plane crash. I survived, they didn't. I had to go full prosthetic."

"Wow." His voice was laden with sympathy. "I had no idea."

"Few people do. When I turned eighteen, my parents' lawyer sent me the watch. They were planning to give it to me on my eighteenth birthday. They bought it when I was born."

"They must have loved you a lot."

"It doesn't even have my name on it. They were probably going to have it engraved or something, but they didn't have time." An ache developed at the back of her throat. She swallowed, but it didn't go away. "I forgot what they looked like, after a while. I forgot I ever had parents. Until I saw the other survivor."

"There was another one?"

"There was just one other survivor, a little boy. We lost touch, but I always knew he was out there, somewhere. I hadn't thought of him in years, same as my parents. Until I saw him again."

"Shit." He straightened up. "Kuze."

"Yeah. Now I'm the sole survivor."

"All alone."

"Yeah."

"Nah." He smiled, but there were worry lines between his eyes. "You have Section 9. And you have…Hell, never mind."  
a great wave of weariness struck her. She bowed her head, letting her hair fall forward and hide her face. She hoped he wouldn't notice she was blinking back tears. "I'm tired, Batou. I'm tired of Public Security, tired of all the drama and the bullshit. I'm tired of seeing the worst of people. I'm tired of not knowing who I am or if what I'm doing is right. I'm just tired."

She stared at her boots. When her eyes cleared a little, she noticed he was barefoot. For a long time he didn't reply. Finally she felt him change position. His feet turned to face her.

"Motoko."

She flinched. No one had said her given name in a long time. It was unbearably intimate. Reluctantly she lifted her gaze.

"It's okay to be tired." He said. "It's okay to need a break. Should I take on some of your responsibilities? Cover for you so you can have a vacation? Do you just want me to shut up and take you home? Tell me what you need me to do."

Before she could think better of it, she stood on her tiptoes, lifted her chin, and kissed him.

He stiffened at the contact, but didn't pull away. And when her balance wavered slightly, he brought both hands to her waist to steady her. His face was unreadable, but when she finally broke the kiss his voice was ragged. "Motoko-"

"I don't want to go home."

"You're still drunk." He said gently.

She didn't deny it. Instead, she put her hands against his chest, feeling the mechanical hum that wasn't a heartbeat but that matched her own. He was artificial. They both were. But his hands were warm on her skin.

Batou stooped until their foreheads touched. "Why me? Any person in this city would go append the night with you and be grateful for it. So why me?"

Because I'm safe with you. I trust you. But that wasn't it.

"Because you love me." She said softly, and kissed him again.


	5. Chapter 5

He woke up alone. He hadn't expected anything else, not really; still, it stung a bit. She'd hacked the security system and locked the door behind her, at least.

It was afternoon. A glance at the security system told him she'd left only an hour before. Damn it, he'd stayed awake for hours, holding her while she slept. Why did he have to doze off just before she got up?

The balcony door was open. They'd stumbled inside, he unwilling to let her go long enough to close it. She'd clung to him as if she was drowning. There had been nothing desperate or frenzied in their actions; only a slow, deliberate ferocity, a hunger that had nothing to do with sex.

Neither of them had spoken afterward. She'd fallen asleep quickly, her exhaustion outweighing the scant three hours' sleep she'd had. She stretched out beside him, tucked her head in the crook of his arm, and closed her eyes. Batou lay very still so as not to disturb her. He was fascinated by the rise and fall of her chest as he breathed, how her eyelashes lay on her cheeks, the place where her neck curved into her shoulder. Finally he too was lured into sleep by her warmth.

And now he had to drag himself out of bed and go to work.

And see her again.


	6. Chapter 6

Kusanagi rested her head in her hands and gazed at the blank surface of the desk. What did it mean? Did it mean anything?  
A respite from loneliness, or something else, something far more frightening?

His hands on her body.

His breath on her skin.

Her name in his mouth.

Had she only taken advantage of his love to make herself feel better for a few hours?

She was sick of thinking about it. She should concentrate one something else. But what?

The knock on the office door made her jump, but only because she knew who it was. For a moment she considered playing dead. But he wasn't stupid. "Come in."

She stared straight ahead, pretending she was doing something on the Net. In her peripheral vision, the door opened and

Batou stuck his head in. If she'd had a heart it might have stuttered, but she forced her features into impassivity.  
"You never close your door." His tone was forced casual, but he didn't make a move to enter.

"I'm busy." To her relief, she sounded annoyed.

The lines in his face deepened. "Is there anything going on here?"

"No. You can go home. But keep your comm on."

He hesitated, started to speak, then bit his lip. "Should I tell the others?"

"I don't care what you do." It came out sharper than she'd intended.

Batou's expression didn't change. "Okay. See you around." He closed the door harder than he needed to."

Kusanagi folded her arms and lay her head on them. She didn't stop trembling for quite a while.


	7. Chapter 7

She started checking his location, so she could choose a route to avoid him if they were in the building at the same time. If they passed in the corridor, she refused to acknowledge him. If he spoke, she answered as curtly as possible. Sometime he would stand and watch her as she stalked away from him, with the expression, she thought, of a Rottweiler that didn't understand why its master had kicked it. No, that wasn't fair. There was nothing stupid or canine about him, except the feral smile he occasionally flashed, but she hadn't seen that in a while. He just looked like a man who'd been hurt.

She'd never thought much about Batou's feelings for her. When she did, she felt nervous and restless. So she avoided thinking about it. But she couldn't ignore it now. She'd betrayed him, used him. Hadn't she? Should she apologize? It was easiest to forget about it. She should tell him to forget it. But the idea of sitting down and talking to him scared her more than anything had in a long time.

But damn it, she missed him. She missed his wolfish grin and his lame jokes and his unwavering loyalty and his archaic chivalry and the unexpected gentleness in the way he'd touched her. She suspected, with a twinge of despair, that she would never see any of that again. Because of her weakness. If only he hadn't showed up at the bar. If only she'd asked him to take her home. If only Kuze hadn't died. If only none of them had ever been born.

So she gritted her teeth and shut him out, ignoring the questions the questions in his face as rigorously as she ignored the ones in her heart.


	8. Chapter 8

After a week he couldn't take it anymore. Had she put a permanent trace on him, or was she only monitoring him in Headquarters? To test it, he hacked the security system at her apartment building and hung out in the hall by her door.

After three hours he decided the trace must be permanent, but fifteen minutes later the elevator door slid aside to reveal Kusanagi. Location-specific trace, after all.

There was the slightest hitch in her step as she moved into the corridor, but her face remained expressionless as she approached.

"Your building's security sucks." He said, by way of greeting.

"Obviously."

He ignored the jibe. "We need to talk."

"No, we don't."

He cornered her, hands against the wall, trapping her between his arms. She could have brushed him aside easily, but she didn't. "You have to tell me something. I don't care what. Whatever you say, I'll deal with it. If you think it was a mistake, tell me it was a mistake. If you think…" If you think I took advantage of you, if you hate me for it…he couldn't say it. He swallowed. "We can't pretend this didn't happen. You can't ignore it."

She stared at his chest, refusing to look at his face. She said nothing. Damn it, if she wouldn't do anything, he would. Whether she dragged him into her apartment or kicked him through the wall, at least it would be a reaction. He leaned forward and kissed her.

Her entire body went tense. He braced himself for a fist in his gut, but it never came. For a moment, her lips parted, her fingertips brushed his face. But just as quickly she broke away, ducked under his arm, and slammed the apartment door behind her.

Batou leaned against the wall. After a while he stood up and left.


	9. Chapter 9

She sat by the window and stared out at the city. She blinked a few times, and the tears went away.


	10. Chapter 10

Someone knocked at the door, but it didn't alarm her; the trace told her it wasn't Batou. "Come in."

"You never shut your door." Ishikawa closed it behind him.

"New policy."

"Bullshit." His tone was conversational.

"What's going on, Ishikawa?"

He collapsed into the chair across from her and propped his feet on the desk. "Nothing. That's the problem. We're all crazy with boredom."

"The Chief thinks we'll be back in action soon, as soon as the politicians settle on which lies to tell about Dejima."

"Yeah." Ishikawa leaned back, gazing at the ceiling. "That's what worries me, Major."

"What?" She knew what he would say, but asked anyway. Just in case she was wrong.

"I don't know what's up with you and the big guy." He said. "But we all know something's wrong. And with no assignments, we have all the time in the world to speculate. How can Section 9 go back into action if you won't even speak to your right-hand man?"

"You're second-in-command."

"Technically. But you lean on Batou the most. I don't know how he betrayed your trust-"

"He didn't." The words were out before she could swallow them. I betrayed him, didn't I?

Ishikawa went on as if he hadn't heard. "…but you two need to work it out. Because if you're at odds, one of two things will happen. Batou will leave, and the team falls apart. Or he stays, you don't communicate with each other, and someone gets hurt. The rest of us start taking sides, and the team falls apart." He swung his feet to the floor. Without another word he got up and left her office.

She stared at the chair Ishikawa had vacated. Nearly three weeks, and she was no closer to finding the courage to apologize to him. Ishikawa was right; if she didn't talk to Batou she'd tear the team apart.

There was one other solution.

She commed Aramaki. "Chief, we're going out of our minds here. We need to get out into the fresh air."

"What's your suggestion, Major?"


	11. Chapter 11

Someone knocked at the door, but it didn't alarm her; the trace told her it wasn't Batou. "Come in."

"You never shut your door." Ishikawa closed it behind him.

"New policy."

"Bullshit." His tone was conversational.

"What's going on, Ishikawa?"

He collapsed into the chair across from her and propped his feet on the desk. "Nothing. That's the problem. We're all crazy with boredom."

"The Chief thinks we'll be back in action soon, as soon as the politicians settle on which lies to tell about Dejima."

"Yeah." Ishikawa leaned back, gazing at the ceiling. "That's what worries me, Major."

"What?" She knew what he would say, but asked anyway. Just in case she was wrong.

"I don't know what's up with you and the big guy." He said. "But we all know something's wrong. And with no assignments, we have all the time in the world to speculate. How can Section 9 go back into action if you won't even speak to your right-hand man?"

"You're second-in-command."

"Technically. But you lean on Batou the most. I don't know how he betrayed your trust-"

"He didn't." The words were out before she could swallow them. I betrayed him, didn't I?

Ishikawa went on as if he hadn't heard. "…but you two need to work it out. Because if you're at odds, one of two things will happen. Batou will leave, and the team falls apart. Or he stays, you don't communicate with each other, and someone gets hurt. The rest of us start taking sides, and the team falls apart." He swung his feet to the floor. Without another word he got up and left her office.

She stared at the chair Ishikawa had vacated. Nearly three weeks, and she was no closer to finding the courage to apologize to him. Ishikawa was right; if she didn't talk to Batou she'd tear the team apart.

There was one other solution.

She commed Aramaki. "Chief, we're going out of our minds here. We need to get out into the fresh air."

"What's your suggestion, Major?"


	12. Chapter 12

The cherry blossoms carpeted the ground in pink; the Fuchikomas had crushed quite a few of them, filling the air with their mild, sweet scent. After the others left, Batou lingered. She hadn't expected that. When she'd gathered the guys in the Fuchikoma bay, he'd stared resolutely past her, like a cybernetic gargoyle. But now he was gazing at her with an expression nearly unreadable but for the two worry lines between his eyes.

"What?" She snapped.

"You okay?"

She almost laughed. "Yeah, I'm fine."

He took a deep breath. "Look. We really need to talk. I need to tell you some things."

"Yeah." She brushed a stray flower from the hull of her tank. "Hey, Batou…"

He sat up. "What?"

"I wasn't drunk."

"Huh?"

"I wasn't drunk. I synthed out before we ever got to your place."

His mouth dropped open. "Motoko-"

Her name again. She shivered. "We will talk about it, OK? We will."

He studied her a moment longer. The lines between his eyes disappeared. He nodded. The Fuchikoma's hatch clanged shut as he ducked inside.

When he was gone, she took a few deep breaths to clear the sick feeling from her stomach. She ordered her fuchikoma in the opposite direction.

"We will talk about it." She said aloud. "But not today."


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's note: As requested, here is another scene toward a resolution (there will be one other after this). It is set between the end of the 2nd Gig and Solid State Society. I couldn't recall the name of Kusanagi's other friend- I remembered Kourin- so I christened her Ami.**

"Motoko! Hey, is that you? Over here!"

She froze. No one had called her that name since…but she knew this voice. For a moment she considered walking away. But they didn't deserve that. She turned around.

Ami and Kourin were on the patio of an ice cream parlor, sitting at one of the ridiculously small wrought-iron tables. They were dressed to go out, tall boots and short skirts. Kusanagi stepped off the sidewalk and perched on one of the delicate chairs. "It's me. Hi."

"I knew it!" Ami crowed. "I told you it was her!"

Kourin smiled. "How have you been? What have you been up to?"

"I've been…busy."

Kourin's eyebrows arched at the evasion, but Ami was oblivious as always. "Busy! Too busy to give us a call? Clubbing isn't the same without you! What's keeping you so _busy?"_

"I quit my job. Now I do freelance work. It's a lot of work, building up a client base." Not exactly true. Not really a lie.

"You quit?" Kourin leaned forward. Her eyes narrowed; she'd always been the perceptive one. "But you loved your job. Why would you quit?"

"Different things. A lot of stuff all came crashing down one me at the same time." Kusanagi said. Kourin was still staring at her. Without knowing exactly why, she added. "I did something I'm not proud of."

"Oooh!" Ami perked up. "Who'd you have sex with?"

Kourin yelped. "Ami!"

"What?" She looked blankly at her friend. "Whenever I do something I'm not proud of, it usually involves sex. I know! You slept with a co-worker, right? Was it just too awkward after that? Why? Was he bad in bed?"

"_No."_ Kusanagi schooled her features into stony indifference.

"No, what? He was good in bed?"

"Ami, drop it!" Kourin kicked her under the table. Ami winced.

"Ow! Why? This is the kind of stuff you talk to your girlfriends about. So, who'd you fuck?"

"We didn't…it wasn't like that." Kusanagi was remembering why she hadn't called Kourin and Ami since she left Section 9.

"So who was it?"

Kourin poked her. "Hey, Ami. Remember how you owe me a soda?"

Immediately her face collapsed into a pout. "You just want to get rid of me!"

"No, I really want a soda. Right now."

"But there's like fifty people in line!"

"Come on, Ami. I really want it."

"Fine." Ami climbed sullenly to her feet, swaying slightly in heels. "But you better tell me everything she says, Kourin. I require gossip to live."

She stalked off. Kusanagi sighed out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. "Thanks."

"No problem. She really does owe me a soda. Last time we went out, she got so wasted she knocked me Coke out of my hand, all over the bouncer. We got kicked out of_ that_ club." Kourin's lips curled; Kusanagi had never seen her go five minutes without smiling. "Want to talk about it?"

"Nothing to talk about. Ami nailed it."

"Who was it? That huge guy with the weird optical implants, with the big crush on you? Never mind. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"Yeah, it was him." She hadn't meant to talk about it. But Kourin's open, friendly face had a way of coaxing out things she'd never intended to say. "I was lonely. He showed up. I used him. The end."

"Ah, I get it." Kourin twisted a curl of hair around her finger. "But does this guy have a crush on you, or is he in love with you?"

That at least was something she could answer. "The second."

"Well hen, it might be okay." Seeing Kusanagi's skeptical look, she hastened to explain. "If he just had a crush on you, sleeping with him would be cruel. You'd be getting his hopes up. But if he's in love with you…it's easy to forgive someone you love. Besides, everyone does crazy things when they're drunk. It's common knowledge. You were drunk, right?"

"What if…what if I wasn't?" She almost didn't want to know.

Kourin's eyes widened. "Whoa, that complicated things. You knew exactly what you were doing?"

"Yes, I did."

"Then the question you should ask yourself is, if he hadn't shown up, would you have gone home with someone else?"

Kusanagi stared at her hands, folded on the tabletop. No. It had to be Batou.

"I'm just saying." Kourin's tone was suddenly wistful. "It's possible to love someone a long time and never admit it, not even to yourself."

Something surfaced in Kourin's eyes, something Kusanagi had long suspected but never really thought about. Then it vanished, and Kourin grinned at her. "I say go for it. Especially if he's good in bed. And…oh, shit. Here's Ami with my soda."

Ami slammed the plastic cup down on the table. "Here's your damn soda, you bitch. Now tell me everything I missed."

"I was just telling Motoko that I'm starving and I think we should get some dinner before we hit the clubs." Kourin stood up, her metal chair grating on the concrete.

Ami put her hands on her hips. "I just bought your stupid soda!"

"Motoko can drink it."

She leaned over and picked up the soda. Icy drops of condensation trickled down the sides of the paper cup. "Thanks."

Ami turned her attention to Kusanagi. "Come with us, Motoko. We're going to party all night."

"Can't. I'm working. Next time."

"Aw, you quit your job and you still work all the time? What's up with that?"

"Come on already! I'm starving." Kourin grabbed Ami's arm. "I hope it works out, Motoko."

"What works out? Come one, I need to know. Hey, call us sometime Motoko!"

Kusanagi waved as Kourin dragged Ami down the block. She might just call them in a week or two; it would probably be good for her to get out.

Was she glad she'd run into them? Kourin had given her a lot to think about.

Kusanagi wasn't sure she wanted a lot to think about.

But sometimes flashes of memory caught her unawares. It wasn't supposed to happen; her memories were supposed to lie dormant until she deliberately accessed them. But these fragments appeared when she was working, walking down the street, tinkering with the Tachikomas.

Batou's easy smile. Batou joking with Saito or Togusa. Leaning forward, concentrating. Staring in dismay at a little girl who clung to his coat. Nonchlantly holding out her watch, as if he hadn't nearly died to retrieve it. Gently steering her to his bed, admonishing her to give it up and get some sleep already. His fingers tracing the ridges of her spine. His voice murmuring her name.

"Hey lady, are you going to be much longer?"

Kusanagi looked up. Two gangly teenagers, a girl and a boy, stood by the table. They held overflowing sundae dishes from the ice cream parlor.

She picked up her soda.

"No." She said. "I was just going. I have a lot to do."


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's note: This is the final chapter. It is set immediately after the end of Solid State Society. Thanks for reading!**

Batou gave her shoulder a quick, brotherly squeeze. "I'm going. See you tomorrow."

Time to man up. She couldn't let him walk away, not now. "Wait."

He paused. Kusanagi stared out the window, completely still though every muscle in her body urged her to move. He was impassive, unreadable. She breathe deeply. 'We need to talk."

"No, we don't." He spoke carefully, as if she were made of glass. "You were right. It's done, over. Years ago, now. We can forget it. I already did."

"But-"

"I'm just glad you're back, is all." He flashed the feral grin she'd missed so badly, but it faded too swiftly.

"No." She said firmly, turning to face him. No more running. "I didn't forget it. And neither did you."

"Forget what?"

They both started; they'd forgotten the two Tachikoma who'd been sitting silent on the opposite side of the pool, observing them. Kusanagi pointed to the door. "Max, Musashi. Out."

"But Major-"

"Out."

"But what didn't Batou-san forget?"

"Out!"

"Awwww…you're mean, Major." They obeyed reluctantly, stamping like angry toddlers/

Batou smiled after them. "I have to say, I'm surprised. I never thought you liked them much. Anyway, I'm glad to see them."

"I knew you would be." She willed him to understand. But he didn't reply. Uncomfortable silence settled over them. She struggled to banish it. "Batou, about that night-"

"Wait, Major." He interrupted. She saw in the iron set of his jaw that he too had made a resolution. "I understand why you took off."

"You do?" Maybe this would be easier than she'd expected.

"You had every right to be pissed with me. I should have known…Hell, I did know better. You were vulnerable, and hurting, and you didn't know what you were doing."

"Batou-"

"I took advantage of that…I should've sent you back to bed, alone. And I've been beating myself up over it for two years now, and I feel like shit that you've been regretting it all this time. It was nice of you to tell me you weren't drunk, but I know it's not true."

"Batou-"

"Hang on, I'm almost done. I hope you'll accept my apology so we can move on." He'd rehearsed this, he had to. It was far too stiff and formal for her Batou.

Kusanagi almost laughed. "I don't accept." Before his face could fall, she added, "Because I wasn't drunk and I don't regret it. And I don't appreciate you calling me a liar." There. No turning back now.

He gaped. "Major-"

"Motoko."

"What?"

"My name." She felt a flush creeping up her neck and fought to control it. "I like the way you say my name."

"Damn." Absently he rubbed the back of his neck. "What's the deal?"

"Look, I felt terrible because I used you. I needed someone…someone who cared about me. Someone who loved me. I knew you wouldn't just be awed by my body."

"Well, I wouldn't say that's entirely correct." He offered a smile that was almost shy. "You mean we both felt lousy all this time and didn't even need to?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"All that guilt and confusion…" He chuckled, but there was an edge of bitterness to it. "That's what we get for being human, huh? Well, now that's cleared up, we can get back to business as usual."

"Wait. Please." It felt strange to ask; she rarely made requests. Usually she gave orders. "If it happened again-"

"I didn't mean-"

She overrode him in a rush. "If it happened again, it would be okay."

He was already shaking his head. "Can't do it, Motoko. I can't do the friends-with-benefits thing, not with you. Not if…it doesn't mean anything. I love you. You said it yourself. It would just fuck me up, to do it that way." He shrugged, sheepish, apologetic.

"That's not-" She spoke sharply, frustrated with herself for being unable to explain, with him for not understanding. "Listen: I like you. I like your voice, and the way you think, and your sense of humor. I like you honesty and your kindness, and how you smile and how you frown. I like watching you sleep, and how you kiss, and…Christ, I even liked missing you. I like how you never go easy on me, and how you trust me…" She hesitated. "Is that love? I don't know. I don't know what that is, really. I remember I loved my parents, but that was different, and it was a long time ago. I loved Kuze, but I was a little kid then, and that was different too. I don't know. And maybe you can't live without knowing. And if you can't, that's okay too. We never have to talk about it again. Business as usual."

She turned back to the window, suddenly afraid to look at him. Batou was silent a long time. She bit her lower lip, waiting. After an eternity she heard him move. Then he loomed beside her. She didn't dare meet his gaze. He reached out and took her hand. His skin was rough and calloused. Gently he twined their fingers together. "So, Motoko. I'm not really the dinner-and-a-movie type."

She exhaled slowly. "Me neither."

"How about that?" He pulled her into his arms. She let him.

On the other side of the wall, Max and Musashi listened intently.

"Love certainly is difficult, isn't it?" Musashi marveled. "I wonder why humans are so obsessed with it."

"Who knows?" Max replied wistfully. "Even so, I'd like to try it sometime." 


End file.
